I watched this movie earlier in the year. Nobody should ever say they have seen this movie twice within a year. I apologize if I don’t give a ton of details, but this movie is bad, very bad.
Start Film
It starts off with Leprechaun forcing some dude to allow Lep to marry his hot daughter. Now we skip ahead 1,000 years to 20 years ago from our present day, mid 90’s. The characters are beyond unlikeable. We have the hot blond, Bridget, you’ll never believe that this will tie into the awful storyline. Her love interest is Cody, a guy who talks people in LA ongoing on these like spooky tours in a hearse. He even suckers Clint, brother of Ron, Howard into going on this tour. How can you not love Clint Howard? Cody has a friend or uncle named Morty. He was Jack Klompus on a few episodes of Seinfeld. Anyway, he usually drives the hearse for these tours, and he’s a habitual drunk who tries conning people into buying a percentage of his awful business.
And some bum has helped bring Leprechaun back to life somehow. Lep stole the bum’s bottle of whiskey. Some line bitching about how it was Canadian and not Irish whiskey. This movie somehow not only was seen in theaters, but was profitable, not by much, but $260 grand profit on a 2 million investment isn’t all that bad if you think about it. That’s almost as much a profit as The Avengers made. Almost.
So Cody disappoints Bridget, she is pissy, she goes off with some dude, because that’s how women are. You upset them slightly, now it’s time to make the guy jealous, which causes him to do something stupid, costs him more money, and the girl feels validated in this nonsense. Women….sigh. So Cody is all pissy, runs a red light, gets pulled over, and of the issues, there were 6 seatbelt violations. Wait a minute, there are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 people in the vehicle. How in the fuck was there 6 violations?
Morty ends up bailing Cody out of jail, and so he’s released but they sit down on a bench in the jail, just to observe the next scene, which is the bum coming in telling the officers about the Leprechaun. After the bum’s dialogue, Morty and Cody leave. What sense did that just make? I know I am terrible at what I do, BUT I could write better.
So the other guy brings Bridget home. He keeps trying to mack on her, I mean he left work early, spent money on her, and she won’t give him the time of day. Women, I’d hate to say this was awful or cliched, but as a guy, I’ve experienced this phenomenon of bitches being stupid bitches, and yes, he just called her a stupid bitch. So he’s walking away to his car, she went up the stairs to her house. 2 seconds later, he hears her call to him, she is in a lower level garage that would be utterly impossible to get to in that span of time. Well, she’s talking sweet to him, I’m sure he’s got a serious case of the blue balls, so he’s not thinking clearly. And then it happened. One of the biggest surprises in cinema history, the innocent-looking chick gets topless, and fellas, it’s worth the whole movie to see these. They are fantastic. Well, the reality is the guy is about to bury his face in between 2 spinning mower blades, but the tits happened, and that’s what counts.
Cody stops by, he comes with flowers and apologizes. See? Fucking woman not only ruined his night, caused him to get in trouble, but then he spends his money to apologize to her. In what fucking world does this make sense???? Well Leprechaun decides it’s time to capture his bride, and he summons this golden collar on her, and he does some magic shit and he teleports them back to his lair after whooping Cody’s bitch ass.
Back at the Leprechaun’s lair, he binds her in a blanket, then he dumps his pot of gold out. then he realizes he is missing a gold schilling. Like out of all this gold, he realizes one gold schilling is missing and he is superfly pissed.
I just uttered these words “Is that supposed to be a rock that is clearly made out of fabric?” Yeah, wow, the Lep’s lair is a fabric nightmare that is supposed to be like a rocky cave. It’s a good thing they cut corners or else they may not have been profitable.
Oh, earlier, I forgot to mention the pizza scene, and you know damn well how important pizza is to me. Well last night in Slumber Party Massacre as you may recall, we had the dumb bitch say “No anchovies” in typical 80’s pizza-related humor. Well, we’re in the ’90s now. So Morty is waiting for a pizza to be delivered. Cody comes in and Morty brushes him off. Suddenly he’s like pumped. He opens the door, snags the pizza, and says that it wasn’t under 30 minutes, so it was
Morty is now having a drinking contest with Lep. This fucking movie, so bad. Don’t levitate and drink. Good advice. I had to stop commentating, this movie makes my head hurt.
End Film
It is nothing I would recommend per se, but if you liked the original, there is plenty here for you to sink your teeth into. For a normal person, eh…I am guessing it’s not going to be a great experience for you. Well if you’re a guy, watch the first 30 minutes until you see the boobs, then stop. You’re Welcome.
Rating: 5.1 – I have to follow the principle that if I am willing to watch a movie more than once, it has to be over a 5 unless it is to show Russ an awful movie to make him question humanity. Always have to have exceptions to the rule.
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
Please go find a copy and support the creators.