OK, another short film on NetFlix, yup, I’m cheating. I need some in the 80-minute range. I tried Burying The Ex, and I didn’t make it 2 minutes in. SO fingers crossed on this one. It has Katrina Bowden from Tucker and Dale Vs Evil. Judd Nelson is a doctor in this. Even Niecy Nash is in this.
We meet Abagail Russell who says that she looks like a slut, but it’s a disguise to lure predators. She finds the male cheaters, they are the predators. “There is no cure for the married cock, just me.” She flirts with a guy who buys her a drink and gives him one last chance to not be a cheater. He still goes along for the ride. She has Fred up on a rooftop of a tall building. Fred is having second thoughts, and she unzips his pants and admits to being a cheating husband. She is jacking him off. She cuts his femoral artery. he will be dead in a few minutes. And then she shoves him off the roof and gets impaled on a gate spike. And roll the credits.
Danni, a nurse, is played by Katrina, and her boyfriend is an EMT named Steve. Hey, lot’s of man ass as Steve and Danni are boinking in the hospital. Regina, played by Niecy, interrupts their sex. Danni ruined the moment. I am shocked. We get an ambulance show up with a bad accident, and this was her first big-time thing. Dr gives her the business for not helping out, she was too in shock. Danni was in the shower, covering her tits and had panties on. Like, what the fuck is the point in that. Abby changes in the locker room with Danni, and we have side boob.
Danni sees her stepdad with another woman. Yup, that was convenient. The 2 nurses are at a club and drinking and lots of idiots dancing. Ugh. I think Abby just drugged Danni. Some dude is getting behind Abby and groping and then we see that Danni had sex with him and slept with Abby and her tits. Danni remembers nothing. Abby was totally nude, showing her ass. We have full frontal. This girl only got her role because she was willing to get nude. This is only rated R yet I just saw bald pussy. OK, neat.
Jared has a great head of hair…wig. He talks to Abby and I wasn’t paying attention. I could only focus on his hair.
Abby is at her psychologist’s office. She says that she is addicted to men. This piques his curiosity. We have a flashback to daddy with his receptionist…sexually. The doctor gives her his cell, and with him by her side, she can lick this. And she bends over in front of him.
I enjoy how all the nurses are in these white uniforms, I see no scrubs. The director must have wanted no scrubs. Haha, Judd Nelson just slapped Danni on the ass. Judd Nelson is a perfect pervert. He pressed his dick up against Danni’s ass while she was waiting for some meds. Abby just said lots of vulgar stuff, Danni is showering, with her undies on, and then Abby broke the vase of flowers that Steve bought for her. Abby gives Danni a key to her place.
Abby stares down her psych, and he is picking her up and she clearly has no panties on. His name is Larry. She called him, for a ride. She talks about her addiction, and he says that they should go somewhere and talk about it. Not his house because of the wife. No hotel, just a back alley instead. She is his official favorite client. She starts tying him up. She has a syringe, jabs it in his neck. It paralyzes him. She send s the car in reverse. “There was literally moisture coming down my leg”. Sigh. This fucking film. How is this horror again?
Danni is at Abby’s place when Abby gets home. Danni is all crying. By the way, Larry was Danni’s stepdad. Abby says that she can stay there, but Danni says that she will move in with Steve. Abby is all pissy about her wanting to be with that loser, Steve. Abby overreacted, overplayed her hand. Danni decided to leave. Abby is telling her how nobody will understand her like she does. Abby says that she hops Larry’s dick got sliced off in the accident, but Danni never told Abby that it was a car crash. Dun dun dun.
Danni gets an email and a bunch of pics that Abby took of Danni hooking up with the guy pop up. We meet the new HR director, and she is a perky happy lady, Ms. Rachel Adams, and she is looking for Abby. Rachel says that Abby looks like somebody that she knows, her old next-door neighbor, Sarah Price, who went crazy. Rachel is leaving and sees some chick getting nailed and pressed her tits up against the glass and startles Rachel. Abby runs into Rachel, and they are going to get some drinks. Abby invites Danni to come with. Abby can see Danni carrying a big bag.
Danni arrives at Steve’s and sees that Abby sent Steve an email with the bad pics. Nice. Obviously Steve shows up so now we have her trying to close all the pics. What email just opens up pictures like that? Just curious.
Danni wakes up to a skype like call from Rachel who is clearly drunk and with Abby. Danni tells Rachel to look behind her as Abby has a huge syringe. Even Danni called it Skype while calling 911. Abby calls Danni again and we see that Rachel won’t be in to work tomorrow. Abby isn’t pressing charges against Danni for false murder report. Abby accused Abby of breaking into her place. Haha, Abby has turned the tables and Rachel is alive. The investigator shows pics of the night when they hooked up and Steve is there. The investigator asks about the paralyzing drug, and Danni is the one who signed out the drug. Steve is so confused and pissed. Haha, Steve won’t be home tonight.
Rachel goes to look up Sarah Price, and gets drugged. We flashback to the day Abby and her mom caught daddy cheating. He threw her against the wall, so Abby slit his throat with a scalpel. Dannis is getting info from this guy that used to work with Sarah. So we see that Abby liked the doll as a kid that we have seen, and after Sarah’s mom committed suicide, she got attached to one of the nurses, Janet Abagail Russell. Yup, that was a convenient scene.
Dr. Wants to deal with Abby so she wants to go somewhere in private. Dr. finds panties on a Morgue sign and she comes up from behind and drugs him. He wakes up, laying on a table and tied down. Abby down to her bra. She makes some incisions with the scalpel and carves the word “pig” on his chest. She says that she can cut out his heart or gouge out his eyes, or cut his dick off. She grabs a saw, and she cuts off one of his arms.
Danni calls up Regina for info to get Rachel’s number or extension. They have her listed under smiley face bitch. Delightful. So she calls, and needless to say, Rachel’s phone is in Danni’s trunk. The investigator is fucking Abby. More tits. Danni calls Abby. Back to the bra and no panties look. Detective Rogan is in good shape. Danni tries calling Steve but gets no response. Steve gets in an elevator, Abby is in there hiding behind a tall dude.
Rogan returns to his office and Danni left messages about Abby being Sarah Price. Danni asks Abby where Steve is. Abby punches Regina for interfering. OK, Abby and Danni now have their fight in the hospital, lot of glass breaking. This is just ridiculous. Abby just shocked a security guard with the paddles. More brawling. Abby stabs a security guard from behind through the neck. Abby is pissed, kills another guard. Abby just wanted a friend. She slashed Danni in the back. This is Peter Griffin vs the Chicken.
Steve finds Danni and is trying to figure shit out. Abby walked away. Hey, there’s the 3D stuff, because technically this is Nurse 3D. Abby is just killing people left and right. Abby jabbed Steve in the jugular. Nice. I enjoy Abby’s blood-stained teeth.
Abby is all cleaned up and leaving and Rogan stops her and says that she is under arrest. He reads her Miranda Rights. She is begging him not to shoot her, and Jared bops Rogan in the head with a bat. Jared is very upset, and Abby is trying to play Jared, and he says that he can make this go away.
Now happy music and Abby is dressing like Rachel and stole her name and the sticker gimmick.
End film.
Well, that was different. First of all, credit for being lighthearted at points, cheesy, and yet bloody, gory, sexy. It did a lot of things. The choice in the lead actress still confuses me, but maybe she was the only one willing to show that much skin. I don’t know. I actually liked the story. It told a decent enough story, and never got dull. Guys should absolutely enjoy this, and women will because she kills guys who cheat, so you ought to like that. I have no real complaints aside from Dani showering in her panties and never getting nude. Yup, I am making that my biggest complaint.
Final rating: 6.2 I can see myself watching this some night while drunk, so yeah, it will happen
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