This week, accusations fly abound whether Tempest is sleeping with the Dungeon Master’s significant other. Seriously, this is happening, it’s D&D soap opera at it’s finest! We also get a Tabaxi which is some kind of cat man according to Eric. As a matter of fact, lots of cat references this week, so that leaves me options for videos. How exciting! Thanks, Eric for writing this up and leaving me with options. If you are not familiar with this film, I implore you to go find a copy online and start watching as soon as you have finished this blog.
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Tomb of Annihilation
Chapter 16 – Follow that Cat!
After resting for the night, healing, regaining their spells, and discussing strategy, the party prepared for round two against the clay men. This time the fight resulted in a one-sided beatdown with the party easily prevailing. The only exception being Tempest, who took such a beating by the clay men that everyone sitting at the table began to wonder if Tempest’s player had been sleeping with the Dungeon Master’s significant other.
Having won the battle, the party was confused as to why no new puzzle cube was appearing. As the majority of the party was standing and staring aimlessly, Tempest noticed that the clay men had been using golden spears. As these were much nicer than Tempest’s traditional “non-pimp” spear, she picked one up to claim for herself. Swinging it around, she began to spar with one of four nearby statutes, at which point she noticed that the statue appeared as if it should have been holding something. Placing the golden spear in the statue’s hand, the spear clicked into place. Tempest then placed the remaining golden spears in the hands of the other decorative statues. As the last spear clicked into place, a hole opened in the ceiling, and a shiny new puzzle cube was dropped down.
Leaving with their new cube, the party continued to investigate the city. As they walked out of the temple, Hertz noticed that they were being watched by an old, homeless-looking Tabaxi (cat-man). To lure him out, Hertz pulled some old fish-rations from his pack, as Xilix used his illusion magic to make it look and smell fresh-caught. Sprinting from the bush, the Tabaxi grabbed the fish and ate it hungrily, despite it not tasting anywhere near as good as it looked and smelled.
Once he had finished his meal, the Tabaxi introduced himself as “Hooded Lantern.” After the party finished snickering at his name, HL told the party that he was on the hunt for the “King of Feathers.” After speaking with him for a bit, the party was confused as to whether the King was a giant bird with magical powers, a bird-man with magical powers, or a regular magical dude who was really into to dressing like a bird. As HL had failed in his previous three hunts of the King, the party offered both their assistance and place on their “B Team.”
Continuing on, the party found that traveling down the street in their direction was a regally dressed goblin flanked by what appeared to be two monstrous creatures that had been created by fusing together 5 goblins each. Fearing the power held by such monsters, Hertz called upon Talos and targeted the creatures with a booming thunder blast. It was then that Hertz learned each “creature” was really just 5 goblins sitting on one another’s shoulders, as the spell easily obliterated the goblins, leaving bloody chunks all over the street.
After cleaning the goblin fluids off of themselves, the party continued their investigation of the city. Eventually, they came across what looked to be an abandoned campsite. The only clue to its former residents being a hanging yellow flag that was not recognized by anyone in the party.
Searching the campsite did not reveal anything of value. However, as Padre opened one tent flap, a cat came running out and sprinted out of the camp. In unison, the party yelled, “FOLLOW THAT CAT!” Chasing the cat down a number of twisting and turning alleyways, it eventually led them to a man dressed in red robes and flanked by what appeared to be two guards. Xilix surmised that this was a Red Wizard of Thay and that the cat was, in fact, the wizard’s familiar.
The party attempted to converse with the wizard but found him most curt. Not bothering to introduce himself, the wizard immediately began questioning the party about the number of puzzle cubes they had collected. While the party was forthright with their answers, when Compassion asked the wizard how many the Red Wizards had collected, he merely answered, “some.” Compassion then suggested that the party and Red Wizards work together in the puzzle box collection. The wizard responded by ordering the guards to kill the party and take their cubes.
Not having any of this sudden but inevitable betrayal, Compassion jumped on Ducky and charged the guards. As the wizard had hired the mercenaries at Brad’s Discount Guard Emporium, Compassion easily skewered one guard through the heart with his lance, while Ducky proceeded to eat guard number two.
Realizing what a horrible mistake he made in underestimating the party, the wizard cast invisibility and attempted to flee. Turning on monk vision, Tempest was able to track the wizard’s bodily heat signature and he directed Rix and Padre to the wizard’s location. The two then proceeded to fill the wizard full of arrows and chop off his head.
Covered in the blood and guts of numerous intelligent races, and realizing that some of the puzzle cubes are being stored in temples, Xilix decided it was time for a clothing upgrade. Heading back to the abandoned camp, he found a very nice emerald-green robe ensemble. With a fresh makeover providing a fresh outlook on life, Xilix was ready to take on the rest of the day.
Some ways down the road they found another temple, this one apparently dedicated to a rabbit with a unicorn horn named Ijen. Upon entering the temple they were immediately greeted by a floor trap puzzle. The floor tiles had repeating pictures of a number of different animals. Xilix quickly learned that stepping on an incorrect tile would result in a number of poison darts flying towards him with incredible speed.
After putting their heads together and experimenting, Compassion figured out that the solution was to not step on the same animal twice in a row. With this knowledge, all non-dinosaur members of the party were able to make it safely across. Unfortunately for Ducky, her large size and lack of puzzle solving skills meant that by the time the dinosaur had made it down the hall Ducky looked like a pin cushion.
Continuing deeper into the temple, they found it to be a maze filled with dead ends, and at each dead end was a pressure plate trap that caused whirling scythe blades to pop out of the walls. As such, the party spent a solid four hours moving slowly and having Xilix use Mage Hand to investigate every square inch of floor in the temple.
Eventually, after hours of searching and nearly being chopped to bits, the party found the puzzle cube chamber. Once they were sure that the room was devoid of traps, they claimed their third cube.
As they headed out towards the temple exit, they realized they had one major problem. There was no way Ducky would survive another trip down the poison-dart trapped puzzle hallway. Always looking for a way to leverage the most useless spells granted by Talos, Hertz cast Gust of Wind down the hallway to blow all of the darts away as Ducky made the trek down the hall.
Reaching the exit first, Xilix pushed open the temple doors back into the bright jungle daylight. With Hertz’s spell at his back, Xilix lit his pipe. Both the smoke and his new emerald-green robes flapping in the wind, Xilix thought about the road that lie ahead as they attempted to find the remaining five puzzle cubes. Also, he got high.
Where in the city of Omu will they head next? How many Red Wizards will have to die to complete the party’s puzzle cube collection? How many pints of blood will it take until Xilix’s new robe is “stained dark green” instead of “emerald green”? Maybe you will find out next time on Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium!
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Also, in honor of Xilix’s final moment of this chapter, I proudly bring to some of the greaatest Afroman songs. You probably know the first one, but the second 2 are just as amazing. Trust me.
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