This is the remake of Funny Games. Why am I doing this in the inverse order? I’m glad you asked. Because I can write and type along and give a good layout with language I understand, then I can revisit the original, compare, contrast, you get the gist. This movie does have Tim Roth and the very awesome Naomi Watts who I absolutely adore. I saw the original before this ever came out. Let’s enjoy.
Tim Roth plays George, and Naomi is his wife, Ann. They have a son named Georgi. We have a family driving to their summer home I believe, and they are towing a boat, and they are busy listening to classical music, to show just how refined these people are. They interrupt the nice music with this awful music that is loud and abrasive, which was the point.
They drove past their neighbors and talked to him about golfing and him giving the family a hand with launching the boat, and he acted weird and had one or 2 people that they didn’t recognize and felt that he was acting weird. Oh yeah, this family has a dog, Lucky who is a hungry boy. The neighbor, Fred I think his name is, has brought Paul over with him. Paul is a young guy in his teens, looking like he’s Fred’s golf caddie. Lucky is backing up a storm. Fred’s wife’s name is Eve. They are having steak for dinner. I’m jealous.
Peter (the other boy) shows up at the door, she comes over asking for eggs for Eve. And he has like golf gloves on and is very well-spoken. He drops the eggs and makes a mess. Ann is very understanding. He is wondering if he can have 4 more eggs, and she kinda acts weird about it. He knocks her cell phone in the water. She is pissy now, and he apologizes. Well, that boy sure is clumsy. Yeah, let your hair down, Naomi. Samara isn’t coming after you, so you are fine, and you aren’t at Mulholland Dr. Things are great. And you’re smoking. UGH. So turned off.
The dog is barking like crazy, and Peter is afraid of dogs. Paul and Peter are both incredibly polite and well-spoken. Paul wants to try out George’s golf club briefly. Lucky keeps barking like crazy. George and Georgie both yell for him to be quiet, and then Lucky lets out a weird sound and stops bark. George is going to take a look. It looks like Ann is outside looking for Paul and she is rude to them and asks for the 2 boys to play. She doesn’t want to play any games. They ask if they did anything. Paul asks Peter if he said something impolite. Paul just asks for the eggs. George comes in, and the boys explain and she is super pissy. She wants George to throw them out, and George is trying to just understand what the problem is. She walks away. George wants the boys to leave. He gets pissy so they give it back to him.
Well, George slaps Paul, Peter hits George with the golf club. And here we go. The boys restrain Georgie. The boys tell Ann that she should help George. They want George to remove his pants so he can look at his wound so the boys can help. George politely asks them to leave. They insist on taking care of him.
The boys want to play another game. Paul holds up a golf ball and says “What is this?”. So George says it’s a golf ball. Now the question is, why does he have a golf ball in his pocket? Well because something stopped him from hitting it. I’m good at games. Paul had to test the club in another way. Obviously, the dog. Now it’s time to play hot or cold to find the dog. Paul turns his head to smile at the camera and then goes back to the game. Lucky was in the trunk.
Peter asks if Georgie could go to the kitchen and get him something to eat. He tells him not to bring back a knife or he will be sorry. This Betsy lady shows up with her husband and sister in law and they know Ann. Ann introduces Paul, he explains that the gloves are due to eczema. Paul now knows where these people live.
Inside, they move to the living room and get George on the couch. Paul says that things are easier when polite. He says that the slap in the face wasn’t the best reaction. They both try to shake George’s hand, and he doesn’t, so when Ann comes back in the room they get pissed, shove her onto George’s leg. They punch her in the gut and stomp on George’s injured leg because George is not paying attention to being polite and courteous. Paul holds Georgie down and tells him to relax. George asks them why they are doing it, and Peter says that it is difficult to talk about. Paul brings up how Peter’s dad divorced his mom and that’s why he’s a criminal now. Paul goes on to say how trashy Peter and his drug-riddled family is and Peter is crying. Paul said that nothing he said is true, Peter is a spoiled little brat who is jaded.
Paul would like to make a bet. In 12 hours, all 3 of the family will be dead, and the family has to bet on being alive. The son is terrified. Paul talks to the camera and asks us if we are on the family’s side. George offers them money. Peter asks Ann to make him some food, Paul rips on Peter for eating so much and they have a delightful conversation. They talk about how nice Ann’s body is, not an extra calorie on her body, and Peter disagrees. Ann gets up to go to the kitchen, and Georgie goes to follow her, but they stop him. They want to play a game, Cat In The Bag. They take a pillowcase off one of the couch pillows and puts it over Georgie’s face. They make sure that he is getting enough air, and he is. They get talking about why Ann wanted to leave. Time to see if mommy’s titties sag. She doesn’t want to and George gets pissed, but Paul starts to fuck with Georgie. They want Ann to take off her clothes. I support this, and George is forced to tell her to take off her clothes.
Here’s my thought process, why was she even fighting it. It’s her son’s life at stake. You just do it. She removes her dress. The bra is off, and now the panties. I see no nudity and am terribly disappointed. Paul is impressed, no jelly rolls. He says that she can get dressed again. The kid pissed himself, so Paul tells Peter to go change him. George grabs Peter, Ann blocks off Paul and they tell Georgie to run. Am I wrong in thinking that was a piss poor plan, no pun intended whatsoever? Georgie runs upstairs, seriously. I can’t fault a kid for being a dumbass. He is outside on the balcony, and he is going to climb down a lattice.I do enjoy Naomi’s bod in her undies. I rate her as one of my 10, maybe 5 favorite actresses. Paul ties up Ann, and George is on the ground, useless. Now Paul is on the hunt. Georgie climbs over the gate and walks down the road.
Peter is talking about his SAT’s, gets George back up and in the comfy chair. She asks why he doesn’t kill them, and he says something about a need for entertainment. Georgie runs to Fred’s house I believe. Well, the lights come on from sensing Georgie’s movement, and Paul is maybe 100 yards behind. Peter points out all of this over a carton of eggs, and Peter goes to the kitchen, so Ann hopes over to George to try to get her wrists unrestrained. Peter comes in, see this and asks them how dumb do they think he is and shoves her to the ground. This causes Peter to drop eggs on the carpet, and this went against Paul’s wishes to not make a mess on the carpet. Ann is pleading with him to stop saying that they will cover this whole thing up. Peter tells her to stop.
Georgie removes his shoes and pants so he doesn’t make as much noise while moving. OK, maybe this kid isn’t that dumb after all, but he is upstairs. He looks out the window. Then he comes back to the door and sees a body on the ground, so now he starts running and makes way too much noise, and yeah, totally gave away his position, but he now has a rifle. He locks himself in a closet, just like Tom Cruise. Paul wants to play some music, and it’s that same god awful noise from earlier. So Georgie runs like a moron, and Paul tells Georgie to cock the gun. Paul slowly walks towards Georgie. Paul knows that he is safe. He tells Georgie to pull the trigger. Nothing. Paul says “boom”. Hahaha.
At home, Peter is watching TV. Ann should be trying to seduce him, he’s a teenage boy and she is hot. Like he’s gonna say no to that. Georgie runs in and hugs Ann. “Hey Beavis” says Paul. “Hey Butthead” says Peter. Paul informs George that his son tried shooting him. Time to kill. Paul has 2 shotgun shells, and time to play eeny meany miny moe. They want to start with her, and Paul wants to get something to eat. He asks if anybody wants anything. Then a huge bang. Lots of screaming and thumping. Paul is still going about fixing his sandwich.
We come back to a very blood-splattered TV, and Paul is not happy with Peter. He’s mad that he got trigger happy. They are going to leave, ad thank them for the driver. Who’s alive? We see Ann is still alive and moving. Georgie laying still on the ground and appears dead. Ann gets up and is hopping to the TV which has an annoying NASCAR race going on. Thankfully, her first priority was to shut that the fuck off. Thank you! And now, lots of nothing.
She decides to try to use the TV stand to free her wrists. This won’t do, time to find a knife. Dropping to your knees was a bad decision. Hopping was smarter. She’s back up and hopping. George’s arm is moving. He’s alive. He looks like shit. Boy, you guys are bad parents. Naomi is free and George is crying as only Tim Roth can. She finally gets him upright and getting him walking, which he can’t do, and he weighs too much to do this. She’s too small. She should leave him behind in a corner and arm him. George is like, get dressed, you’re gonna need shoes in case you need to run. OK, he gets it. Well, now he is gonna hide in the cellar. One right decision, one bad decision. Hey, her phone is now working. Well at least there’s a signal, but it’s not calling anywhere.
I love it. She dries off everything, still nothing. He cell is out in the car. She goes to leave and he is standing there like, Hey, some help would be nice. That makes me laugh every time. She gets a hairdryer for the phone and starts puking. All of this is such an inane waste of time. He’s like, stop worrying about that, you’re wasting time. He wants to be pulled to the kitchen where he can actually do something, and then she can be busy running around. SMART.
He tells her that she has to go. He asks her to forgive him, so she stops and they practically make out. I love you blah blah blah, and he tells her to run. So she goes. George is hungry, so he eats some bread while drying the phone. He didn’t like the break. Ann is at somebody’s gate and is screaming for someone to help her. George makes a call to 911 and is hoping that they can hear him. He hears nothing back. His right knee is fucked, his left arm is fucked. He is just fucked. He gets up.
Ann is powerwalking down the street. She sees a vehicle in the distance. She decides to hide. She lets it go past her before jumping out and saying wait. Uhmmmm, don’t you just take your chances, to begin with? Why doesn’t she have a weapon? Another vehicle. Will she stay or hide? George is covering his son with a sheet. He hears something, then a golf ball rolls in. Oh boy. “Player one, level 2” and it is Peter, and Paul is behind with Ann tied up. Well, she is really tied the fuck up now. Dumb ass.
The boys find the knife and cut her restraints. Peter loads the shotgun. Now they play another game, “The Loving Wife”. The rules are that it’s George’s time, so Paul asks she wants to take his place in the kill order. Paul asks the audience if it’s enough with plausible plot development. So Ann gets to choose if they kill George with the little knife or big gun. She gives no answer, so they used the knife. They tell her that they can spare him the pain, but she needs to play the game. Where’s HHH? She agrees to play. So Paul tells her to say a prayer, without messing up, then God is on her side and she gets to choose what happens next. She doesn’t know a single prayer. Peter gets mad at Paul for constantly calling him Tubby. So they give her examples. They insist that she kneels properly and actually pray. She makes it through the prayer. If she can say the prayer perfectly in reverse, she not only gets to choose who dies next but with which weapon because she’s now finally playing the game. She suddenly grabs the gun and shoots Peter in the chest. Shit got real, real fucking fast.
Paul laughs and hits her with the gun. He is looking for the remote. He hits rewind, and now everything goes in rewind. We go back to when he gives her the opportunity to say the prayer backward. When she goes for the gun, Paul grabs it before she can get it. He tells her that she broke the rules and she failed. He tells her to say goodbye to George. He shoots George.
Now Paul, Peter, and Ann are in yellow raincoats, and go outside and get on the boat, and they tie her up pretty well. So they set sail. Peter is telling a story and Ann gets the knife and starts cutting the rope. Paul notices, and acknowledges her spirit. Peter gets up but rocks the boat, and Paul says something about Peter not being able to swim. They get the knife, toss it in the water, Peter brings her in between the 2 guys. They were talking about the materialistic and non-materialistic world. Paul asks what time it is, and it’s after 8. Paul kisses her on the cheek and pushes her off the side. Peter wonders why he did that as they still had close to an hour. Paul jokes that he was kinda hungry.
The guys keep blathering on. They head back to the dock. Paul comes to the door, and I believe that they are at Betsy’s place, and they ask if anybody is home. Betsy comes to the door. He tells her that his aunt sent her. He says that his aunt needed help with something, and she lets him in. He turns to the camera and the awful music plays again. Ugh, the music is soooo, fucking hell.
End film
That’s a decent film. It was one of the first movies that I saw of this genre. It’s pretty decent, but it gets worse the more times you view it. By the midway point, I wanted everybody to die. The kid was probably the one with the most common sense. George had great ideas and then terrible ones. Ann, well she tried, but was very inconsistent, as was George. So I suppose the thought is that they have mind fucked them so much that they are second-guessing common-sense decisions. The violence was incredibly mild but done nicely. I don’t need gore if the story is there. That’s all this is pure story. The music, the awful shit, that can go fuck off. Sorry, it really is terrible and that was the point, but some times, I don’t need that awful of a point.
Final rating: 5.9
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
- Celluloid Dreams (presents)
- Halcyon Pictures
- Tartan Films
- X-Filme Creative Pool (as X-Filme International)
- Lucky Red
- Kinematograf
- Belladonna Productions (in association with) (as Belladonna Ltd., New York)
- Serenity Film (as X-Filme)
- Warner Independent Pictures (WIP) (presents)
Please go find a copy and support the creators.