I came across this song randomly and after the month that I have had, I felt like playing it. It is NSFW, but that shouldn’t surprise you coming from me. You’re welcome, and please Eric, write better roles for Hookeri.
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Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium
Dark Sun Campaign – Chapter 8
Having little interest in anything other than fighting, drinking, and being short, upon arriving in Balic Alexa headed out to a local drinking establishment. Unfortunately for her, while on her way she was seen by an agent of House Jarko, who knew that Alexa was an escaped gladiatorial slave. A few hours later, as Alexa was leaving the bar, she was shot with a poisoned blow gun dart and fell unconscious.
As the Thri-kreen best buddies were heading back to the House Inikia barracks, they realized they hadn’t seen Alexa or Coraanu since arriving in the city-state. Entering the barracks, they noticed that Dimebag was being delivered a missive from House Jarko. The letter informed Dimebag that Alexa had been captured as an escaped slave; however, as she had escaped from a raided caravan, per a new law passed by the Camber of Patricians allowed her to fight in the Criterion, along with any who wished to join her, for her freedom. Dimebag, Ilana, and Pane-Pan agreed to fight with their friend. Hookeri went off to do more random bug-stuff.
Heading to the fighting area, the three ran into a confused-looking and glossy-eyed Coraanu. As Coraanu tried to talk to them about “High Defiler Vaerhirmana” (aka. Molestan) and they killing of his clan, the three simply told him to shut up and come to the area.
The contest for Alexa’s freedom was a thrilling five round gauntlet with breaks after rounds two and four. In the first two rounds, the adventurers took on a group of 12 newbies who had only recently begun training to be gladiators, and the imposing “Captain Carnage”, who rode into the area and fought on a Crodlu drawn chariot. While the newbies put up a surprisingly strong fight, the adventurers were able to take the newbies and the Captain down without too much trouble.
In round three, they took on a clutch of six Thri-kreen that had been training as gladiators for their entire lives. A not insignificant amount of damage was sustained by the party during that fight. While nursing their claw wounds, the five were then set upon by “Mad Mary” the “Psion” who obviously was a defiler pretending to be a psion (not that Ilana would know anything about that). Despite taking Ilana down with a “force-ball”, the adventurers pretty handily kicked her but [DM’s Note: She only had 1 hit point left when she got her only spell off]
Finally, in the fifth round, the party fought the dreaded Tiki-Tiki Tembo. While the beast was able to show Alexa what true pain was for the first time in her life, in the end, the five stood victorious, and Alexa earned her freedom.
After the fight the adventurers were offered the chance to attend one of the better after-parties to celebrate their victory (attended by moderately high level nobles and mod-level Templars). While at the party Ilana was approached by a Praetor who was up for reelection and was actually in danger of losing. Hearing of Ilana’s seductive grifting exploits in Urik, the Templar was hoping that Ilana could “remove the competition” as it were. The negotiations were brief but intense, with Ilana declining the job after learning it required a mind wipe so nothing could be traced back to the Templar. The two appeared to part on good terms; however, Ilana did imply that she might share the Templar’s request with others, which for many non-Templars is a good way to get arrested and/or executed.
Also at the party, Alexa was approached by a representative from the Olivian noble family. The representative wished to hire the party to kill a giant that had taken a liking to olives off the tree. Specifically, everyday a giant would wander in to one of the olive tree patches and start eating and storing them in his pack. As a reward, the adventurers would be given free room and board at the Olivian plantation, and they could also earn a bonus for a job well done.
The next day the group headed to the market to purchase picnic supplies and headed to whatever the olive word for vineyard is. At about two in the afternoon the adventurers saw the giant heading straight for a grove of olive trees. Distracted, the adventurers launched a surprise attack that did little more than anger the giant. However, after a hard fought battle involving Ilana shrinking the giant down to human size, the giant fell down dead.
As Coraanu was using the Bonesaw to cut the giant’s head off as proof of a job well done, the giant stood back up. It was then that Mad Mary appeared standing upon the now zombified giant’s shoulder. She told the party that she was here to avenger her humiliating defeat before all of her friends and family at the Criterion. Ilana responded by defiling a significant portion of the olive grove and casting a fireball at her face. Distracted (by being on fire), Coraanu was able to mage hand Mary’s component pouch away. Enraged and without spell components, Mary defiled and sent a volley of 9 magic missiles straight for Ilana, which nearly killed her outright. The melee fighters then proceeded to chop the giant down while the long-range attackers took out Mary.
In the end the adventurers were victorious and blamed any defiling on Mary. However, due to the fact they allowed so many of the olive trees to be defiled, they were only paid half the bonus they might have earned. They did still earn the right to crash at the Olivian pad and be treated as honored guests.
The next morning, after an evening of eating and drinking on the Olivian family’s dime, Coraanu decided to head out to the Megaleneon (the district at the center of the city) to learn more about the magic school that High Defiler Vaerhirmana taught at. Unfortunately for Coraanu, he was not let into the district as his appointment with Sorcerer King Andropinis was not for two days. On the plus side, the adventurers did meet an elf (I’d say shifty elf but that would be repetitive) that sold them a map to a hidden dungeon on Mt. Laeron.
Not feeling like dungeon running at that time, the group decided to help Dimebag with his House Inikia job to steal blueprints of the psionic helms that power Balic’s naval fleet and allow the ships to levitate on the silt. Per the plans provided by the unnamed House Inikia agent, the plans were in a building inside of The Arsenal, the walled compound protecting the city-state’s naval fleet. While reviewing the schematics Dimebag began having a bad feeling about the job but shook it off, thinking it nothing more than nerves.
Together, four of the party members devised a plan to get them into the Arsenal. Coraanu and Ilana would cash Disguise Self to make themselves look like various Templars they had interacted with over the past few days. Dimebag would accompany them as an inspector for House Inikia, and Alexa would eat her fruit of invisibility and ride in on Dimebag’s shoulders.
Despite some suspicion on the part of the guards, the plan went off well and they were able to freely enter the Arsenal. Unfortunately, things began to go south after Dimebag demanded that the guards who let them in accompany them to the building on the blueprints. Specifically, one of the guards asked, “are you sure this is the building you were sent here to inspect?” “Absolutely” replied Dimebag.
Upon reaching the run-down warehouse-looking building that seemed unlikely to hold such valuable schematics, the guards opened the door and asked the three (that they could see) to enter. Coraanu entered first and saw that it was just a big, empty building. This caused the other adventurers to hesitate in entering, which, in turn, made the escorts very nervous. They kept asking the three to enter the building so they could leave.
Once all of the party members entering the building, the door slammed shut and an alarm went off. When asked what was going on, the guards admitted that they were told to sound the alarm if anyone asked to enter this building. The two then fled the scene.
Using his nature spirit magic, Coraanu was able to force the door to open. The four party members then made a mad dash to escape from the Arsenal. Despite Dimebag getting stuck with a few arrows as Ilana levitated him over the compound walls, the adventurers were able to escape relatively easily and regroup back at the Olivian plantation.
Rather than investigate who set Dimebag up, Dimebag just assumed that it was his brother and continued to plot his revenge against that wife-stealing D-bag. The rest of the party continued to overeat and drink on the Olivian family’s ceramic piece for the next two days prior to Coraanu’s big meeting with the Sorcerer King himself.
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